5 Common Lies Women Tell Themselves – I’m Not Good Enough

Over the next 5 weeks we’ll be tackling some of the most common lies we tell ourselves, and how we can conquer them once and for all. Let’s start this week with one of the most common self-deceptions out there >>>

Week #1 – I’m Not Good Enough.

As women, we tell ourselves this one a lot. And it can be about any area of our lives – as a mom or wife, a daughter or sister, with our jobs, in our homes, or within our communities. Why do we do this to ourselves? Because it’s a lie we’ve been believing for way too long.

A lie is something that is not based on the truth. Lies also use guilt and condemnation in order to make you believe something that is not true. Recognizing this is the first crucial step in combating the false truths we hold onto daily.

The best way to conquer any lie is to recognize it for what it is – full of condemnation and false truths.

How do you do this? One of the best ways I’ve found is to write out each truth to combat each lie. Yes, actively write out the truth to each lie.

Take a piece of paper or your journal. On the left side write out each lie, or for this example, write out all the areas of your life you believe you are not good enough. On the right side write out the truth to each one of those areas.

For example, instead of “I’m not good enough as a mother”, write down, “I am doing my best as a mother. The most important thing is that I love my children.”

Instead of “I’m not good enough at work”, write down, “I may have messed up that order at work, but it’s OK. No one is mad at me, and my boss understands that mistakes happen.”

Instead of “I’m not good enough at home”, write down, “Does it really matter if my house is a mess? No! The only person that’s bothered by it is me.”

What area of your life do you feel “not good enough”? Take a few moments today to begin the journey towards conquering this lie once and for all.

 

Join me over at Choosing JOY, a Facebook group for women to encourage each other and grow together through depression and anxiety. 

 

 

 

 

Recognize Your Thoughts For What They Truly Are: Convicting or Condemning

For years, I listened to so many condemning thoughts in my head. And 99% of these thoughts were not from outside sources, they were from me.

After years of perfecting the practice of saying and believing the lies I was telling myself, it became extremely difficult to distinguish between what was a skewed version of the truth and what honest thoughts I should be listening to.

There are 3 simple steps you can take each and every day, to finally recognize your thoughts for what they are: convicting or condemning.

There is one basic truth you need to know before beginning this exercise:

Beliefs come from your Feelings. Feelings come from your Thoughts.

It is vitally important what thoughts you allow into your mind. The good news is, YOU have control over what thoughts you listen to. One of the foundational truths I learned through counselling is that I am responsible for my thoughts. I say “Yes” or “No” to each and every thought I allow into my mind.

Not believing this truth, makes it too easy to give up and believe that you cannot change your thinking. The enemy wants you to believe this. The more you believe this, the easier it is to convince yourself that you have no control over your thoughts and feelings and that you should simply give in to the will of these thoughts and feelings.

How do you best determine if your thoughts are condemning or convicting?

STEP #1: Recognize the Emotion

Anytime you are dealing with thoughts and feelings, you HAVE to deal with the emotion first. Why is that? By their very nature, emotions can be fickle, unpredictable, and irrational. This in no way makes them bad. God gave us emotions, so we can understand and express our feelings, empathize with other people, and experience life to the fullest.

If we are going to recognize thoughts for what they are – condemning or convicting – we need to deal with and get rid of any irrational emotion first.

Step #2: Know the Difference Between Conviction & Condemnation

First, you have to know what conviction and condemnation are:

Conviction is Truth that comes from God. God’s Truth is always edifying. He will never motivate you through criticism, belittlement or guilt.

I love how this article explains what conviction from God truly is:

When the Holy Spirit corrects or convicts us, I like to describe it as the “get in–get out” theory. He is going to correct and discipline us and show us what we did wrong. He is going to get in and get out. He is not going to badger us or nag at us about the same thing. He is going to show us the mistake, lay it upon our heart to repent and ask for forgiveness and then He is going to expect us to move on. He will keep convicting us until we do something about it.

Condemnation is anything that does not edify or lift you up. John 10:10 describes precisely what condemnation is –  anything the enemy uses to steal from you (joy, peace, hope, for example) and completely destroy you.

Step #3: Choose What You Will Do With Your Thoughts

This step, although simple, is not always easy. Often we want to hang onto certain thoughts. Especially those that we feel justified in believing, have always believed that particular thought system is the truth, or quite frankly, we feel we deserve to believe.

If you’re having a tough time taking action on this step, go back to Step #2. 

Once you’ve decided it’s time to take action, the next steps are very simple.

If the thought is convicting, then you need to act on it.

If the thought is condemning, then you need to disregard it and completely reject it. Don’t allow that condemning thought to go any further, otherwise, it will begin to influence your feelings and eventually your beliefs.

Trust me when I say I have way too much experience in this area.

Tell me, have you gone through this process before? Do you practice these principles in order to determine if your thoughts are convicting or condemning?

 

Join me over at Choosing JOY, a Facebook group for women to encourage each other and grow together through depression and anxiety. 

 

When You’re Between a Rock & Hard Place . . . Remove the Rock

To some of you, the above statement makes perfect sense.

For me, I’d rather do anything but remove the rock.

Complain about the rock.

Stomp on the rock.

Yell at the rock.

Use Jedi mind tricks to try and move the rock.

Seriously, you see why I have issues. 😉

Many of you know my husband and I are seeing a counselor. It has been a very eye-opening process. It’s been so good for my husband and I and I’m so thankful we’re going together.

This past week I was able to communicate my need for “a break”. What I really said was, “I FEEL LIKE I CAN’T CATCH A BREAK!” Yeah, just like that.

Over the last few months, overwhelm and imbalance have both devoured my life. And I am beginning to seriously feel it.

After verbalizing my feelings and listening to some profound and wise advice, I realized that I am in a constant state of hopelessness – feeling like I’m between a rock and a hard place.

And I need to remove that darn rock.

With help from our counselor, we were able to work out a strategy together, to begin the journey towards balance in my life. I cannot express to you the relief and peace I felt simply knowing we are now on the right track.

My question for you today . . . what is your rock?

It’s different for everyone. Your rock could be finally admitting you need help. Or giving up something you don’t want to but know you need to. Whatever it is, I’m pretty sure you know what I’m talking about. It’s something that is keeping you feeling stuck, without hope.

And I KNOW that is not a fun place to be.

Take a few moments after reading this email to ask God to show you what rock needs to be removed from your life. Don’t spend one more moment complaining or yelling at it.

Simply remove the rock.

 

Join me over at Choosing JOY, a Facebook group for women to encourage each other and grow together through depression and anxiety. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 Strategies to Strengthen Your Relationships Through Depression

I am honored to be guest blogging for Katie Trudeau over at Cor Domum: Navigating Life & Parenting with Joy, where she writes about all things gentle parenting, real food, and natural living.

It was 2:00 am. I had just nursed my daughter for what seemed like the 10th time that night, and she would not go back to sleep. So naturally, I reacted with anger. I left her in the bedroom with my husband while I went downstairs to have a temper tantrum. Slamming cupboard doors, yanking dishes out of the sink, and throwing pillows across the living room.
This was my life for the first 8 months of my newborn daughter’s first year. I had waited 5 years to have my first child. We were ready and we were both excited. So when we brought her home I was expecting sweet baby cuddles, joy-filled moments, and a heart that was overwhelmed with love for my child.

Needless to say that did not happen.

The first year of her life was a cycle of anger, guilt, and self-condemnation. This continued for days, weeks and then months, until my husband finally suggested I go see the doctor. Once I did, changed everything. She totally understood what I was going through and placed me on a plan towards healing.

During this time, I realized I had been experiencing depression all my life. It was especially difficult after the birth of my first and third child. Through medication, counseling, and help from my family, I’ve been able to win the daily battle with depression and anxiety.

Now that others know more about our story, my husband and I have been asked often, “How do you support someone who is going through this life experience?”

My family has had A LOT of experience helping me through these times. There are many ways my family and friends have helped me, but there are 3 key strategies that my family has implemented that help me every single day.

You can read the rest of the article here >>> 3 Strategies to Strengthen Your Relationships Through Depression, over at Katie Trudeau’s blog, Cor Domum: Navigating Life & Parenting with Joy.

 

 

 

Join me for my newest course, 5 Keys to Winning the Daily Battle with Depression & Anxiety. This course is designed to help you create your own unique strategy for living a life of true peace and real joy.

Course launches April 1, 2017.