My Word of the Year – TRUST

 

 

This week I wanted to share one of the first Facebook LIVES I created in my group, Choosing JOY. This was back in January 2017, where I was talking about my “Word of the Year”.

TRUST.

Ugh, I do not like talking about trust. It’s hard, it’s not easy and it takes a conscious effort on our part.

Thankfully, today I’m not talking about trusting a person. I am talking about trusting God, especially when life does not go as planned.

Click on the image below to watch. The video is less than 10 minutes and is a fantastic reminder of why we should only trust in the One who is completely worthy.

 

Word of the Year - TRUST

 

My Word of the Year – TRUST

Join us over at Choosing JOY, where you’ll find daily encouragement and support because we were never meant to “do life” alone.

5 Common Lies Women Tell Themselves – I Am Responsible for Everything

5 Common Lies Women Tell Themselves - I Am Responsible for Everything

As women, this statement right here gets us every time. I’ll use myself as an example.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve said things like “I have to do everything around here!” or “No one helps me. They’re fine with letting me do all the work!”

My middle daughter tells me often, “Mom, I offer to help you and you say no. And then 15 minutes later you’re complaining about how you have to do everything.”

You know what I call this? Martyr syndrome. Yup, I’m acting like a martyr.

A martyr is “someone who is killed because of their religious or other beliefs”. Now I am not making fun of martyrs, not one bit. But when I say things like “I have to do everything!” I am acting like I’m sacrificing myself for the cause. The cause of what? A clean house? Clean laundry? Running errands? Running my kids to and from drama practice/cheer practice/games/parties?

No thank you. I’m willing to sacrifice myself for my family but not in the name of winning the “Best Mom” award.

I’d love to be able to answer the question of WHY we do this to ourselves. Why do we as women sacrifice ourselves for stupid things? (Yes, I said stupid.) Why do we feel like being the best mother, best employee, best wife, best business owner, best neighbor or best volunteer means we have to be and do all things for everyone? That is INSANE! And that is a recipe for a mental or nervous breakdown. (Trust me – I know this all too well.)

While I cannot answer the question of WHY, I can answer the question of HOW. How do we stop ourselves from accepting and believing this lie? How do we take a step back and gain perspective on what is truly important in our own lives? And remember, what is important in your life, may not be important in someone else’s life. Therefore, NO JUDGING! I’m totally talking to myself here too.

What can you do and how can you stop taking responsibility for “everything”?

It’s actually quite simple. Most of us need to get our of our own way before we can follow these steps.

ASK.

This step right here is one of the first things I teach my clients in my “Control the Chaos: Home Management” coaching program. 

Ask for help. Get your family involved. Every single person in your home can pitch in and help out. Create a chore chart for you, your spouse, and your children. If you’re not married or have no children, ask for help from friends or co-workers. We were never meant to live this life alone.

STOP.

Stop doing what is not necessary. Does the living room have to be vacuumed every day? Will your child suffer tremendous torture if you don’t take her to her friend’s house for the weekend? (She may think so – lol!) Will your husband go to work naked if you don’t do that huge pile of laundry on the bathroom floor? Stop taking responsibility for something that is NOT your responsibility.

Here’s the tough question: Which of these options, “ASK” or “STOP” do you have trouble practicing the most? A reminder for you as well – This is not something that will change overnight. It will take consistency, determination and letting go of your pride (that’s me!!) in order to change the habits you’ve been practicing for years.

If you know you need help in this area, or you’re not sure where to begin, click on the link below to schedule a free phone chat with me. We can chat about what needs to happen in your life and your home so you (and your family) can live a less stressful, more closely connected life together.

 

Free Strategy Call

 

Join us over at Choosing JOY, where you’ll find daily encouragement and support because we were never meant to “do life” alone.

Facebook Group - Choosing JOY

 

5 Common Lies Women Tell Themselves - I Am Responsible for Everything

5 Common Lies Women Tell Themselves – I Have No Control Over My Life

I don’t know one person who has never felt like this. And if you haven’t, there will come a time when you will. The key is knowing how to handle it when your life feels completely out of control.

The truth is, there will be times you are not in control of your life. People will make decisions that will affect your future. Illness will strike. Your job will be eliminated, or a new opportunity will make itself known. It’s during times like these you need to focus on what you have control over.

You have control over the decisions YOU make.

You have control over how you react to your situation.

You have control over what thoughts you allow into your mind, whether you fertilize those thoughts and let them grow, or whether you reject them before they turn into bitterness and resentment.

If you are feeling like this, here’s what I suggest. Take a piece of paper. On the left side write down how you’re feeling. “I’m not in control!” or “I feel so out of control!” On the right side write down what you are in control of – your thoughts, your decisions, whatever it may be.

I’ll be discussing this topic in my Facebook group, Choosing JOY, this Tuesday at 11:00 am. Click the image to join the group so you can dig deeper into learning how to handle your life when it feels completely out of control.

5 Common Lies Women Tell Themselves - I Have No Control Over My Life

5 Common Lies Women Tell Themselves – No One Understands Me

5 Common Lies Women Tell Themselves - No One Understands Me

 

No one understands me.

What a great lie we tell ourselves often. The intention of this lie is to make you feel entirely alone. When you feel alone, you are in a very vulnerable place. Let’s get you out of that vulnerable place into a safe, encouraging space where you will always have hope.

When you say or think that no one understands you, ask yourself if this statement is true. Is there really no one on this whole planet who understands what you are going through? The answer is NO. There is always someone who has either experienced the same situation you’re going through or at least, has experienced the same feelings and emotions.

And remember, even when it seems like no one understands, there is always One who does. He suffered many, many things. Rejection, persecution, abandonment, betrayal. He was innocent yet suffered at the hands of those who hated Him. He knew what it was like to feel depression, anxiety, and fear. Jesus was 100% human and also 100% God. He did, and still does today, completely understand your feelings and emotions, and can show you the truth that you are NEVER alone.

So how do you combat this lie? Find someone who can understand your situation. There’s always someone who can help. Ask them if you can talk with them. Pick their brain and find out how they have handled this situation. Preferably find someone who has used their circumstance to uplift and encourage their own lives and the lives of others.

Instead of telling yourself “No one understands me” find someone you can talk to, who understands your situation. Better yet, lean on and trust in a God who is LOVE, TRUTH and has the POWER you need to know you will never be alone.

What’s one step today you can take to know and believe that you are not alone?

 

 

Join me over at Choosing JOY, a Facebook group for women to encourage each other and grow together through depression and anxiety. 

Facebook Group - Choosing JOY

 

 

 

5 Common Lies Women Tell Themselves - No One Understands Me