I Thought Anger Was Bad

I Thought Anger Was -Bad-Depression can be a funny term. When I realized I was suffering from depression, I didn’t think I had the classic symptoms – not wanting to get out of bed, crying all the time, feeling sad constantly. My most noticeable symptom was anger, and then guilt over how I reacted to that anger. Before learning more about this mental illness, I would have never placed “anger” and “depression” in the same category.

The anger I felt and displayed was over some of the smallest issues. Our son throwing his plate of food on the floor for the 27th time that day. My husband not cleaning up his dirty dishes from the living room. Our middle spilling grape juice on the kitchen floor leaving a sticky mess. Really silly things.

Then there were some major things that made me angry. Our oldest as a 2 month old infant, crying constantly, and me not knowing at all what to do. Finding out that “friends” of ours at our church had said some very personal, hurtful things about my husband. Angry with myself for not being responsible with our money and it affecting our whole family’s lifestyle. Whether I experienced anger over the small things or the major things, I still experienced it. And I had no idea how to handle it.

My counselor explained to me that anger is not good or bad. It’s what you do with it that is good or bad. For instance, if I were to throw the TV out the window because I was angry, that would be bad. He even talked with my husband a bit about how to help me deal with my anger in a healthy way. He explained that anger will come out, one way or the other. He told me he preferred I didn’t throw appliances out the window, BUT he did say if that was the only way for it to come out, then so be it. Anger is much more dangerous being left inside, to fester and grow, causing you to become a bitter, miserable person.

So am I suggesting that if you’re angry you go home and begin to throw things, slam doors, kick the cat, or punch a hole in the wall? Absolutely not! I tried some of those things and ended up no happier than I was. In fact, I felt guilt over how I reacted. And guilt can take a terrible toll on you too. Anger must be dealt with in a healthy way.

Meeting with my counselor, I learned that my anger stemmed from my un-forgiveness toward my father. At that time, I had over 3o years of anger built up that had to be released. The best way to release is to talk about it. It could take days, weeks, or months before you get all the anger out. For me, most of this occurred during my counseling sessions, but my husband was also supportive and helped out too. It was hard for him, because of the way I had treated him all those years, but he was willing to do anything to help me become a person filled with joy.

During my sessions, I was also taught there is such a thing as righteous anger. Jesus displayed righteous anger. You can read about how he was angry with those selling animals at the temple. And if you’ve ever read how He spoke to the Pharisees, it would be obvious to you that He was angry with them.

My counselor suggested that I direct my anger toward Satan. He was the one who wanted my destruction, and was using my anger to do just that – destroy my family and myself. You and I, as believers and followers of Christ, have authority to tell Satan to go back to hell and leave our families alone! I know as Christians we do not use that power enough. Some of you don’t even realize you have it. And Satan likes it that way. I didn’t realize it until someone showed me in God’s Word.

Releasing anger by talking about it, and exercising the authority we have over Satan, was not enough. I needed to fill my heart and my mind with God’s Word. Ephesians talks about how God renews our minds, and He does that by allowing us to learn about Him through His Word. To grow closer to Him through binding His truth to our hearts. I struggle with this area to this very day – learning and believing the truth of God. I feel like I can never read the Bible enough, and I often have to recite scripture to myself in order to fight off the negative thoughts and feelings of guilt, anger, and self-pity.

To sum up, there were 3 things that helped me with my battle with anger:

Releasing it in a healthy manner.

Using the authority I have as a follower of Christ and telling Satan to go back to hell and leave me and my family alone.

Learning God’s Word and allowing His Truth to permeate my heart and my mind.

For those of you struggling with anger, I hope this helps. I know for me it felt like a cage I was in, that I could never escape. But remember, there is hope. There is always hope in Jesus. Choose one of these areas to begin working on. Find a trusted friend, counselor, or pastor, that can help you work through this issue.

I’ll leave you with this verse from Exodus 34: 5-7

Then the Lord came down in a cloud and stood there with him; and he called out his own name, Yahweh. The Lord passed in front of Moses calling out: “Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness. I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations. I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin.”

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Follow along as Samantha shares her story, exploring three foundational truths she learned during her years of Biblical counseling. These three truths found in God’s Word, have helped her experience joy while living with depression.

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A Conversation Between Myself & God

A Conversation Between Myself & GodI came across an entry in a journal of mine that I use to take notes at church or when I’m reading. This particular entry was from a few years ago.

I remember when I wrote it. I had finally realized that despite my depression, whether medical or emotional (which for me it’s both), God would lead me through it and could still bless me and use me in spite of it. I knew He could take me to another level but I had no idea how He was going to do it. I had many ideas for Him but obviously He has His own.

This entry is a window into my mind; a picture of a conversation I had between myself and God. I am sure I’m not alone. Many others deal with the same type of conflict. We know where we want to go, but we have no idea how to get there.

Looking back I can see exactly why I wasn’t where I wanted to be. I invite you now to read my thoughts and my prayer. Some of it sounds selfish, but I wanted to be completely honest with God.

I am angry today for no good reason. I’m not happy with our situation. I don’t want to work full-time. I want my own house and am tired of moving all the time. I want to be available for real ministry. But I am doing real ministry. Chad could probably be more effective if I was supportive and respectful of him. I am the primary example for my kids. I don’t want my job to be my priority – and I don’t think it has to be, although I spend a majority of my time there.

I once told God that I would not stop seeking Him until He blessed me. He has blessed me but I want more of Him. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I want to be free of this depression and bondage. I don’t know why He hasn’t taken it away, but I will trust Him anyway. I have to will myself to trust Him. That is not my natural response.

Help me to practice self-denial. This is not my nature.

Help me to love my whole family the way You love me. With patience, grace, and a deep love.

Help me to trust You with our money. Help me to remember if I obey, You will provide. And I need to ask before You give. You desire to bless.

Have you ever been honest and open with God? Completely honest? If not, now is a great time to do so. He already knows what you’re thinking and feeling inside anyway.

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Join me next Monday, June 6 for a FREE 5 day email challenge,

“Hope for the Journey: Choosing Joy Through the Darkness of Depression.”

If you struggle with self-condemnation, believing the promises of God in His Word, or simply need to be reminded who you are in Christ, this challenge is for you. Don’t wait – It’s free!!

I’m looking forward to sharing this time with you.

Hope for the Journey: Choosing Joy Through the Darkness of Depression





Caring & Practical Support for You & Your Family

Caring and practical support for you and your familyI sent a newsletter to my subscribers the other day, letting them know I would like to offer more helpful resources and products for you and your family. I can’t do any of this unless I know what YOU are looking for and what would be most helpful for YOUR FAMILY.

Do you use printables to help organize your family?

Would you like to read e-books or watch videos that explain how to keep the peace and prevent (as much as possible) chaos in your home?

What issues and topics deeply affect you and your family?

Basically, how can I help you manage your home, take care of yourself, raise your children, support your marriage, and encourage you in the life-journey God has blessed you with?

For this reason I’ve set up a simple and quick 10 question survey so I can learn more about the struggles your family faces everyday, and how I can support and encourage you through those challenges. By completing this multiple choice questionnaire you will help me discover the best ways to serve YOU.

Feel free to answer as many or as few questions as you’d like. There are also spaces for you to leave comments if you wish to do so. The survey is also completely anonymous.

THANK YOU in advance for helping me to help you. As always if you’d like to speak with me directly, you may email me at samantha@livingwithrealjoy.com.

Click HERE to begin your survey.

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My "Personal Stress Reducers" printable hanging on my fridge

My “Personal Stress Reducers” printable hanging on my fridge

Click on the button below for access to your FREE “My Personal Stress Reducers” printable, a simple tool developed to help you (and me) manage your stress.

Free Stress Reducer Printable button


6 Tools to Help Calm Your Anxious Child

6 Tools to Help Calm Your Anxious ChildLast week I ended my series “What Autism Looks Like in Our Home”. It included emotional reactivity (aka meltdowns), sensory issues, sleep problems, anxiety, and food aversions. This is not an exclusive list by any means but these are the Top 5 that stand out to me as we raise our son.

Today I’d like to share some of the tools I did not mention in this series, that we’ve used to help with these daily issues.

(This post contains affiliate links. All products we promote we have used or purchased for our own family’s needs. For more details, read our advertising disclosure.)

Yoga Ball

This has been a huge hit in our home. We originally bought this for our daughter with ADHD. It works wonders for her when she just can’t settle down and is super fidgety. It also works for our son when he’s bored or just needs to get some energy out.

Activity Books

Our son loves books. Before he could even read he would sit and look through books often. Over the last year we’ve found that he particularly enjoys activity books – mazes, puzzles, and seek and finds. Read More